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 Funny Jokes From category Redneck Jokes
A Letter From A Redneck Mother To Her Son
Dear Son,
I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since.
It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.
The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funeral bill, up she comes.
About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or a girl so don't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle.
Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tail gate down.
Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.
Love, Ma
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Joke mark: 8.57 (from 7 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Short Jokes
Q;why was the migit laughing when he was playing soccor?
A;because the grass was tickling his balls.
[ Joke sent by Christian Mantanona ]
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Redneck Jokes
You might be a nascar loving redneck if...
1. when you pull into your driveway your kids run out with a jack and wrench to change your tires.
2. when you get in your car, you climb through the drivers side window.
3. you refer to your family as "the pitcrew"
[ Joke sent by Chris ]
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Joke mark: 9.67 (from 3 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Funny Jokes
Teacher: Can u tell the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness & peace in to people's lives? Student: Smo-king, Drin-king & Fuc-king
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Joke mark: 8.67 (from 3 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Medical Jokes
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Yo Momma Jokes
Yo mama is so ugly when she went to the strip club they paid her to keep her clothes on
[ Joke sent by Steel ]
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Blonde Jokes
A blonde walks into a store and says to the store clerk i want that tv right there. the clerk says sorry i dont sell to blondes so the blonde goes and dies her hair red and goes back to the store. she tells the clerk i want that tv right there then the clerk says sorry i dont sell to blondes Agngry and uupset she dies her hair brown and walks into the store and says to the clerk i want that tv right there I dont sell to blondes he says so sh dies her hair puple and once agian she says i want than tv right there and the clerk say i dont sell to blondes.the blonde says i have died my hair three difrent color how do you know im a blonde.finally the clerk says thats a microwave
[ Joke sent by Ashleigh ]
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Blonde Jokes
What is the difference between a whore, a nimpho, and a blonde?
The whore says, "Aren't you done yet?"
The nimpho says, "Are you done already?"
The blonde says, "Beige. I think I'll paint the celling beige..."
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Joke mark: 5 (from 2 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Animal Jokes
One day there were two people wanting to buy a car.they saw a sign next to a monkey sayin cant talk but understand so the buy the monkey and the car.later that day they get in a car crash and the couple die and the only one alive was the monkey so he called the cops,they arrived and said ok let me ask you a few questions:ok heres the first one-what was one thing they were doing before the crashed? the monkey holds his hand up like hes smokin dope.the cops says so they were smokin.monkey goes uh huh.ok second question whats another thing they were doing?the mokey holds his hands up like hes drinkin bear.so the cop says so they were drinkin?the monkey goes uh huh.cop says ok anything else? monkey does the pelvis thrust so the cop says so they were bangin monkey goes uh huh.cop says ok one last question...what where you doing during that time? the monkey holds his hands up like hes jacking off!!!!
[ Joke sent by Dave ]
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Yo Momma Jokes
Yo mama is so stupid she put 25 cents in each ear to hear the song 50 cent.
[ Joke sent by Luis ]
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Funny Jokes
This bloke was sat a park bench one
day when a tramp came walkin up and shouts over sayin are you fuckin gay...!!
and the bloke looks back at the tramp nd says who me the tramp says yes you and the tramp relplies
sayin are u fuckin gay the bloke say im not gay the tramp says get of my fucking bed then
[ Joke sent by John Rawcliffe ]
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Animal Jokes
A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."
A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined.
Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.
The manager said "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair.
The manager was stunned, but then told the dog "the sign says you have to be good with a computer". The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager
By this time the manager was totally dumbfounded! He looked at the dog and said "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job."
The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said "Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual."
The dog looked at the manager calmly and said, "Meow!"
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Joke mark: 9.75 (from 4 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Funny Comebacks
Man: So, how do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
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Joke mark: 9.67 (from 3 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Animal Jokes
Why did the chiken hop on one leg? Because he wanted a job at IHOP.
[ Joke sent by Mikayla Greenway ]
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Yo Mama Jokes
Your mama is so fat she is on both sides of the family
[ Joke sent by Dominic ]
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Animal Jokes
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
No idea
what do you call a dear with no eyes n no legs?
Still no idea
what do you call a dear with no eyes no legs and on fire?
Still no flaming idea
what do you call a dear with no eyes no legs on fire and cut in half?
DEAD
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Yo Mama Jokes
Yo mama so fat jumped in the ocean and everyone screamed with terror "hurricane katrina
[ Joke sent by Jane Hannah ]
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Knock Knock Jokes
Knock knock
whose there?
mayra
mayra who?
my right nut
[ Joke sent by Titty Lop ]
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Yo Momma Jokes
Yo mommas teeth are so yellow when she closes her mouth her belly lights up
[ Joke sent by Danielle Navarro ]
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke

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1Bob12 Jokes
2Lolypop12 Jokes
3Mike10 Jokes
4Chris9 Jokes
5Steel9 Jokes

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Funny Jokes - 29 June 2016

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