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Funny Jokes - The newest and best funny jokes

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 Funny Jokes From category Men Jokes
"Why do men like masturbation?"
"It's sex with someone they love."
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Joke mark: 9.86 (from 7 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Lawyer Jokes
Attorney: Have you lived in this town all your life?
Witness: Not yet.
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Golf Jokes
Why did tiger woods take 2 pairs of pants to the golf course
he thought he would get a hole in one
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Police Jokes
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain."
"Quiet!" snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you spend the night in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say,"
"And I said be quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you, the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the guy in the cell. "I'm the groom."
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Joke mark: 7.33 (from 3 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Yo Momma Jokes
Yo mommas so stupid..
when someone said it was chilly outside she went out with a spoon
[ Joke sent by Rob ]
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 Funny Jokes From category Police Jokes
What do you call a policewoman with a shaved fanny ? Cunt-stubble
[ Joke sent by Spycosis ]
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 Funny Jokes From category Funny Jokes
Learn from your parents mistakes: use a condom!
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 Funny Jokes From category Little Johnny Jokes
A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor first putting a worm into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and it quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. "Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked.
Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"
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Joke mark: 9.5 (from 2 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Yo Momma Jokes
Yo mamma soo cool shes that cool!
[ Joke sent by Tiontha Patton Rice ]
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 Funny Jokes From category Yo Mama Jokes
Yo mama so hairy she had afroes on her nipples
[ Joke sent by Jackie ]
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 Funny Jokes From category Yo Momma Jokes
Yo momma is so stupid that when she was eating skittles she was sayin the alphabet
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 Funny Jokes From category Blonde Jokes
How do u kill a domb blond ???you stick a scrach and snff at the bottem of a pool
[ Joke sent by Jerika Whaley ]
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 Funny Jokes From category Scottish Jokes
A Scottish newspaper ad. "Lost - a 5 note. Sentimental value."
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Joke mark: 9.67 (from 3 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Female Jokes
Why do wives close their eyes during sex?
They can't stand to look at their husband having fun.
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Joke mark: 8.5 (from 4 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Lawyer Jokes
A man is at his lawyer's funeral and and is surprised by the turnout for this one man. He turns to the people around him. "Why are you all at this man's funeral?" A man turns towards him and says, "We're all clients." "And you ALL came to pay your respects? How touching." "No, we came to make sure he was dead."
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Knock Knock Jokes
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Yo mama.
Yo mama, who?
Seriously, it's yo mama, open the damned door!
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Joke mark: 6.57 (from 7 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Funny Jokes
At the college, male & female students were told to individually write a sentence using the words 'sex' and 'love.'
Females wrote: When two mature people are passionately and deeply in love with one another to a high degree and that they respect each other very much, then, it is spiritually and morally acceptable to the society that they both engage themselves in the act of physical sex with one another.
Men wrote: 'I love sex.'
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Joke mark: 9.5 (from 2 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Short Jokes
Why is the government like a prostitute?
Your always getting screwed and you have to pay for it!
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Men Jokes
John is in Amsterdam and visits a nudist colony there.
While wandering around naked he sopts a gorgeous blonde and he immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over and says "Sir, did you call for me?"
John replies: "No!"
She says "Well, it's a rule here that if I give you an erection, it means you called for me."
She then layes him down and starts making love to him.
Later that day John visits the sauna, but as he sits down he farts. A huge big hairy guy get up, drops his towel to show a huge erection and says "Sir, did you call for me?"
John replies, "No!"
The man says, "It's a rule that when you fart, it implies you called for me." The man then knocks John to the floor and has his way with him.
As soon as he's finished John rushes back to his room, grabs all his things and heads for the exit. On his way out he's stopped by the manager he askes "Can I help you?"
John says "Here's my room keys I'm leaving early"
The manager asks why and John replies "I'm 60 years old, I get an erection once a week but I fart 20 times a day!"
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Joke mark: 9.8 (from 5 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Lawyer Jokes
A blind rabbit and a blind snake bumped into each other in the forest and decided to play a game to find out what animal the other was, One animal felt something furry and soft. "You must be a rabbit!" Correct! said the rabbit. Then the rabbit felt the other animal and felt something slimy and disgusting. "You must be a lawyer!"
[ Joke sent by David Ling ]
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke

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1Bob12 Jokes
2Lolypop12 Jokes
3Mike10 Jokes
4Chris9 Jokes
5Steel9 Jokes

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Funny Jokes - 6 February 2016

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