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Funny Jokes - The newest and best funny jokes

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 Funny Jokes From category Animal Jokes
BOY: MIS! marunong ka bang magswiming,,,,
GIRL: bakit mukha ba akong swimmer?,,,,
BOY: hindi ah, mukha ka kasing
"pusit"...
BY: CLINT LAO
[ Joke sent by Clint Lao ]
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Yo Momma Jokes
Yo momma is so fat her belt size is the equator!!
[ Joke sent by Brandon Rapp ]
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Italian Jokes
Q. Why is Italy shaped like a boot?
A. Do you think they could fit all that shit in a tennis shoe?
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Joke mark: 4.4 (from 5 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Yo Mama Jokes
Yo mama is so dumb wen she put a paper on the tv and thoutght she was wacthing paper view
[ Joke sent by Alex Gomez ]
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Yo Mama Jokes
Yo mama is so fat the only size she can were is size damnnn
[ Joke sent by Jeremy ]
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Yo Mama Jokes
Yo mammas like a door nob everybody gets a turn
[ Joke sent by Jennifer ]
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Funny Jokes
Job application:
This is an actual job application that a 75-year-old pensioner submitted to B&Q in Tunbridge Wells.
They hired him because he was so funny.....
NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Bastard)
SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)
DESIRED POSITION: Company's Chief Executive or Managing Director. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying in the first place - would I?
DESIRED SALARY: 150,000 a year plus share options and a Tony Blair style redundancy package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It was a crap job.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT COULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Reader's Digest Timeshare Free Holiday Offer, so they tell me.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy Swedish supermodel with big tits and who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
NEAREST RELATIVE?: 7 miles
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.
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Joke mark: 9.83 (from 6 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Funny Jokes
Q:i know why gasoline is good for cars
A:cause its lean
[ Joke sent by Sjg54321 ]
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Blonde Jokes
Q: What do you call a brunette standing between two blondes?
A: An interpreter.
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 Funny Jokes From category Funny Put-Downs
The geto store callled they want your face back.
[ Joke sent by Ashleigh ]
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 Funny Jokes From category Yo Momma Jokes
Yo mama so ugly when she went to the store to buy make up the people said keep the money
[ Joke sent by Steel ]
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 Funny Jokes From category Blonde Jokes
What do you call a blonde at a strip club?
what ever you want as long as you pay.
[ Joke sent by Daniel B ]
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 Funny Jokes From category Yo Momma Jokes
Yo momma is so dumb she got locked in the bathroom and peed on herself
[ Joke sent by Sunshine ]
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Funny Comebacks
Boy:you cant dance for shit other boy: bring shit and ill dance
[ Joke sent by Joe ]
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Politic Jokes
"Why 'Members of Parliament' are never robbed by thieves?"
"Professional courtesy."
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Joke mark: 9.67 (from 3 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Viral Messages
English for beginners: "Three witches watch three Swatch watches. Which witch watches which Swatch watch?"
Advanced English: "Three switched witches watch three Swatch watch switches. Which switched witch watches which Swatch watch switch?"
English for experts: "Three swiss witch-bitches, who wish to be switched swiss witch-bitches, wish to watch three swiss Swatch watch switches. Which swiss witch - who wishes to be a switched swiss witch - wishes to watch which swiss Swatch watch switch?"
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Joke mark: 4.4 (from 5 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Bar Jokes
A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the can. He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, "I spat in this beer, do not drink!". After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, "So did I!"
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Joke mark: 8.5 (from 6 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Yo Mama Jokes
Yo mama so ugly she can
tricker-trite over the phono
[ Joke sent by Tucker Zehner ]
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Marriage Jokes
There was a single blond woman and a single Burnett man and they were on a train it was night time and all the cots were token so they slept together and it got cold and she asked can you act like a husband and get me a blanket and he said pretend your my wife and get the hell up and get it your damn self
[ Joke sent by Veronica ]
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category School Jokes
Knock knock who's there the school the school who the schopol who sucks
[ Joke sent by Britany ]
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Joke mark: 5 (from 2 marks) - Give a mark for joke

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LevelSendersJokes
1Bob12 Jokes
2Lolypop12 Jokes
3Mike10 Jokes
4Chris9 Jokes
5Steel9 Jokes

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Funny Jokes - 30 July 2015

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