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Funny Jokes - The newest and best funny jokes

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 Funny Jokes From category Religious Jokes
A lady approaches her priest and says, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?" the priest inquires.
"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?'"
"That's terrible," the priest exclaims, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."
"Thank you!" the woman responds.
The next day, the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots, and the female parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?"
One male parrot looks at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away. Our prayers have been answered!"
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Joke mark: 9.75 (from 4 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Yo Mama Jokes
Yo mama so fat a bus hit her in she said 'hey who threw that rock'
[ Joke sent by Krystina Valiquette In Kaitlynn Hall ]
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Animal Jokes
How do you no when u are at a gay bbq when the winiies taste like shit ha ha
[ Joke sent by Reedley ]
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Yo Momma Jokes

yo momma so nasty she picks her blue waffle and eats it

[ Joke sent by Shylo ]
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Yo Momma Jokes
Yo momma so old, she has Jesus' beeper number!
Yo momma so old, she owes Jesus 3 bucks!
Yo momma so old when she reads the bible she reminisces.
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Joke mark: 8.75 (from 8 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Yo Mama Jokes
Yo mama is so fat that she farted and was accused for global warming
[ Joke sent by Julie -nickname Nerychel ]
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Funny Lists
22 Things To Never Say To A Cop
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3. Aren't you that guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must have been doin' at least 120 mph to keep up with me... Good job!
5. Excuse me... is stick up hyphenated?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a cop.
7. I almost decided to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
8. Bad cop! No donut!
9. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
10. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
11. Didn't I see you get your ass kicked on COPS?
12. Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand.
13. Is it true that people become cops because they're too dumb to work at McDonald's?
14. I pay your salary!
15. So, uh, you on the take, or what?
16. Gee, Officer... that's terrific... the last officer only gave me a warning too!
17. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
18. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around, that's how far ahead of me they are.
19. What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.
20. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
21. Hey, is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 Magnum.
22. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?
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Joke mark: 9.8 (from 5 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Viral Messages
There are 6 truths in the world:
1) you can not touch all your teeth with your tongue;
2) all idiots try after reading this;
3) nr.1 is really a lie;
4) now smile because you're an idiot;
5) you will send this message to another idiot;
6) still have a smile on your face...
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Joke mark: 7.4 (from 5 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Funny Jokes
A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Yo Momma Jokes
Yo Mamma so Greasy...
...Texaco buy oil from her.
...her freckles slipped off.
...she uses bacon as a band aid.
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Joke mark: 6.67 (from 3 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Religious Jokes
One Sunday morning, everyone in a bright, beautiful, tiny town got up early and went to the local church. Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc.
Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon everyone was evacuated from the church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.
Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"
"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.
Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."
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Joke mark: 9.8 (from 5 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Italian Jokes
Did you hear about the new Italian tank?
Yeah, It has 11 gears. 10 go in reverse, and one goes forward in case the enemy attacks from behind.
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Joke mark: 6.67 (from 3 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Politic Jokes
"Mr. Bush, you have evidence that Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?"
"Of course, I kept the receipts!"
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Joke mark: 9.5 (from 2 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Funny Jokes
You are so ugly that when you put your face in cookie dough you come out looking like the cookie monster
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 Funny Jokes From category Funny Jokes
You say-do you like eat penuts?it means you like eat nuts
[ Joke sent by Bob ]
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 Funny Jokes From category Funny Jokes
A man from Botswana was travelling on a plane with one his friend he met online. He asked his new friend "i heared that people from your country answers question by another question" New friend replied by "who said that?"
[ Joke sent by Stopeck Tumediso ]
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 Funny Jokes From category Animal Jokes
Yo Moma So skany she got in the bath water and it ran away
[ Joke sent by Carlos ]
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 Funny Jokes From category Animal Jokes
There were 2 pals taking a stroll with their dogs. one (bob) owned a doberman pinscher, the other (billy) owning a chihauhau, when they smelled the good smells from a resturaunt across the street.
the guy with the doberman said "let's eat there, shall we?"
"we can't. we have dogs with us. no pets allowed."
"just follow my lead. we'll be fine."
the guy with a doberman puts on sunglasses.
as he's walking in the manger says "sorry sir, no pets allowed."
bob says: "you don't understand. he's my seeing eye dog."
the manager skeptically says: "A doberman pinscher?"
"Yes. Many blind people uses them now."
"okay... go on in."
billy follows his lead and puts on sunglasses.
The manager says "sorry sir no pets allowed."
"but... hes my seeing eye dog."
the manager says: " A chihauhau?"
Billy says "what? They gave me a chihauhau?" ha ha!
[ Joke sent by Kaelyn ]
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Funny Jokes
Q: What is the similarity between a toilet and fridge?
A: ???
Q: You don't know?
A: No!
Q: Well, I can imagine what's in your house!
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Joke mark: 9.5 (from 2 marks) - Give a mark for joke
 Funny Jokes From category Funny Jokes
A hotel is being flooded, a man is still stuck in it a guy in a boat comes by he asks him for help the man in the water say no, god will save me.He floats in to the second floor and a helicpter comes by and the guy in the helicpter asks him if he wants help the guy in the water says no god will save me then a plane comes by and they ask if the guy wants help he then again replies no god will save me in heven the guy asks god why he didn't save him god say i gave you a boat, helicopter and plane what else do you want!!
[ Joke sent by Reilly Paquette ]
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Joke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke

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The best jokes senders

LevelSendersJokes
1Bob12 Jokes
2Lolypop12 Jokes
3Mike10 Jokes
4Chris9 Jokes
5Steel9 Jokes

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Funny Jokes - 20 April 2015

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