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Funny Jokes - The newest and best funny jokes

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 Funny Jokes From category Animal Jokes
Why did tiger look in the toilet!
because he was looking for pooh
why do gorillas have big nose!
because they got big fingers
[ Joke sent by Betty ]
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 Funny Jokes From category Redneck Jokes
Q.What does the Royal English family and rednecks have in common?
A. They both keep it in the family.
[ Joke sent by Destiny ]
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 Funny Jokes From category Funny Insults
Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.
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 Funny Jokes From category Blonde Jokes
Why are white people so stupid?
[ Joke sent by Cayla ]
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 Funny Jokes From category Animal Jokes
Elephant looks at the camel and says why do u have boobs on your back and the camel looks over and says thats some shit coming from a fucker with a lip dick on his face
[ Joke sent by Travis ]
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 Funny Jokes From category Yo Mama Jokes
Ok im saying thiz to josh if u read thiz look im very sorry of what i did to u i know u loved me very much and i know i made u very happy and we could of been together forever and hade a good life well sorry and if u forgive me call me k love u very much talk to u later bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[ Joke sent by Danielle Navarro ]
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 Funny Jokes From category Funny Jokes
An Open Letter
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labour.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
P. Niss
The Response:
Dear P. Niss,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you
have raised, the administration rejects your request for the
following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting
other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and
stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have
completed your assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering
and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
V. Gina
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 Funny Jokes From category Lawyer Jokes
A lady about eight months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. So she immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned to a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed even more amused. When, on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this... When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming,' and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, 'Slogan's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a sign that said, 'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself. But your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident,' I just lost it."
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 Funny Jokes From category Funny Jokes
Teacher: Can u tell the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness & peace in to people's lives? Student: Smo-king, Drin-king & Fuc-king
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 Funny Jokes From category Yo Momma Jokes
Yo momma is so fat when she stepped on a scale it went blank.
[ Joke sent by Chariah ]
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 Funny Jokes From category Blonde Jokes
There is this blonde lady who is driving in her new car but she's late for work. so she's so she's speeding down the highway and theres a big 18 wheeler in front of her. she drives around and cuts off the trucker. The truck gets mad and signals her to pull over and she does. the trucker get out and with a piece of chalk draws a circle in the middle of the street. he tells the blonde "Go satnd in the circle, if you move out of the cirlce I'll kill you." so she does. he goes back to the truck and gets a bat and smashes her windows. he looks at her and she is giggling. the trucker says " oh you think thats funny huh?" so he pulls a knife out and slashes her tires. she begins to laugh a little harder. the trucker says " Oh thats funny too huh?" so he goes abck to teh truck and come back with a gas container and matches and blows her car up. and the blonde is laughing hysterically. The trucker is now puzzled and says " I don't get it. I just destroyed your can and you thinks funny. The blonde says " while you were busy destroying my car I stepped outside of the circle."
[ Joke sent by Peacekid13 ]
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 Funny Jokes From category Medical Jokes
A young woman took her troubles to a psychiatrist. "Doctor, you must help me," she pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I date a nice guy, I end up in bed with him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week."
"I see," nodded the psychiatrist. "And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter."
"For God's sake, NO!" exclaimed the woman. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward."
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 Funny Jokes From category Yo Momma Jokes
Yo Momma is like a hockey team, she changes her pads every three periods.
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 Funny Jokes From category Funny Jokes
Funny
[ Joke sent by Mykeria ]
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 Funny Jokes From category Little Johnny Jokes
The teacher was going throw the alphbet and little jonny would say a bad word so they started with r and little jonny was raising his hand so then the teacher said little jonny and he said a rat a big f*** rat
[ Joke sent by Boby ]
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 Funny Jokes From category Funny Jokes
Three men were gathering one day to talk about how successful there sons were doing.
The first man says, "My son has been doing so successful as a lawyer he got a mansion and shares it with his friend."
The second mans says, "My son has been so successful as a doctor that he bought a convertible and a private jet for his friend."
The third man says, "Well, my son hasn't been so "successful". In fact, I just learned he was gay and I've accepted that fact. I guess he must be doing good though because he lives in a mansion with his friend and owns a private jet and a convertible."
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 Funny Jokes From category School Jokes
What did the book say to the pencil?
dont write on me
[ Joke sent by Carlos ]
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 Funny Jokes From category Short Jokes
Why do old men take viagra?
So they don't roll out of bed.
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 Funny Jokes From category Viral Messages
---The xp "xperience"--
Shut down -> (pop-up window) are you sure you want to shut down? There are still some virus programs running, all information will probably be lost. -> :o
[ Joke sent by Daniel ]
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 Funny Jokes From category Yo Mama Jokes
Your mama is so fat when she jump people say run its a earthquake comeing.
[ Joke sent by Solonica ]
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1Bob12 Jokes
2Lolypop12 Jokes
3Mike10 Jokes
4Chris9 Jokes
5Steel9 Jokes

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Funny Jokes - 2 September 2014

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